March 20, 2010
The days seemed to stand still these past two weeks, but I finally got my results today and met with Dr. G. She came in and flashed her warm smile, which I mistakenly took as a good sign. ‘Not that bad, huh?’ I asked, convinced that foods weren’t (again) the root of my ails. She offered a long ‘Welllllll’ and a big sigh before telling me that she’d “never seen a test as bad as mine.” Childhood flashbacks.
A detailed report outlined which foods were big fat ‘NOs,’ which were ‘Maybes’ and which were ‘A-OK’ were laid out before me. All I saw on those pages was red (which, appropriately, meant STOP! Don’t even think about eating me, stupid!). I left with — and I’m being serious here — about 8 foods that I could eat in an every-three-day rotation (and some of those Yes ‘foods’ were Casein, corn gluten, alfalfa, and a couple random spices, which — let’s be honest — aren’t really foods at all). The rest of the foods (the 90-some percent of them on the list) were off-limits, I was told, until my guts grew stronger and follow-up tests confirmed that I was able to start adding them back into my diet.
Overwhelmed, yet also oddly relieved, I headed straight to Whole Foods to stock up on my meager, yet miserably over-priced organic menu items. There was a chalkboard sign alongside the curb that read: Treat Your Body Like It Belongs to Someone You Love. It was like a little shot of optimism that helped offset the sting of the ridiculously expensive grocery bill.
As hard as this is going to be, I’ve decided that I’m not about to cheat and perpetuate my problem.
The plus in all this: I should lose the pudge I gained, right? *sigh*
Now, excuse me while I go snack on some dirt.
